Happy Hallowe’en!!!

What kind of an egocentric assclown carves her own image into a pumpkin? I DO!!!!

But look, there’s Mike too!!!!

See?  He gets his day on the great pumpkin as well.  He’s my pumpking.

This jack-o-lantern is actually my most favoritest ever, but the pictures didn’t turn out very well for three reasons:

1.  I’m not skilled enough to take good photographs in perfect lighting, let alone the semi-dark,

2.  Our pumpkin sucked.  We were had.  Fools.  This was the worse pumpkin for carving EVER.  Sure, it looks like a pumpkin on the OUTSIDE, but the inside was like spaghetti squash.  It couldn’t be scraped, it just came up in long coarse threads….and the deeper you scooped, the threadier it was.  It was impossible to get clean, crisp lines without squash noodles poking through.  Stupid squash noodles, ruining my carving mojo.

3.  It could be that I have an almost empty Apple Pie Martini glass in one hand right now.  Not that this is a contributing factor of course, just saying.

4.  My pumpkin-prototype is no more photogenic than I am.  Sigh.

Okay, four (4) reasons.

Anyway, from us Choosy Beggars to all of you:  HAPPY HALLOWE’EN!!!!!  Please don’t enjoy responsibly. That’s what Mondays are for.

And look!!  Mr. Ghost wants to say Happy Hallowe’en to you as well!  Don’t you Mr. Ghost?

“I DoooOOOoooOOOOoooOOO!!!!  Happy Hallowe’en to YOoooOOOoooOOOooouuuu!!!  You should try my pumpkin seeds ToooOOooooOOOooOOOOO!!!!”

What?  Those are za’atar roasted pumpkin seeds in your belly?  Why, Mr. Ghost….I would never have guessed……

“I know!  See you SoooOOooOOOOOooooOOnnnn!!”

This is the first year that I’ll be living in a house which holds the potential for trick-or-treaters to come a knockin’.  I never got the kidlets in my tenement house apartment building, and when I moved into Mike’s house (which was smack in the middle of a very young and newly built subdivision) nobody came to see us either.  It was a serious bummer.  But NOW, word on the street is that we’ll be getting about 50-75 of them….WOOT!!  I’m so excited.  So very, very excited.  Unreasonably excited.  I’ve bought enough candy to give 200 of them cavities, but I’d hate to be under-prepared.

I love trick-or-treaters, aren’t they precious?  I would take pictures of them in all of their deliciously clad adorableness, because kiddie costumes are the bee’s knees, but….I think that’s frowned upon.  As the unmarried couple who doesn’t have kids, we’re already an anomaly in our neighborhood.  Taking pictures of my trick-or-treaters would accelerate the creep-o-meter that we’re already teetering on the red line of as “That couple with….the cats…and that yard……”  

So on that note, I promise not to take pictures of the children OR to jump out of the bushes to scare them, just for fun.  Unless I can’t help myself.  We’ll see.  HAPPY HALLOWE’EN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Stephanie

    No way! Our pumpkin was an oversized spaghetti squash too! I was scraping and scraping and scraping, and Connor was saying, “Can I see? Can I see?” and I was trying not to curse.

  • http://www.choosy-beggars.com Tina

    SERIOUSLY?! We were both had. What gives? And the thing is, it LOOKS like a pumpkin, it’s SOLD as a pumpkin….just not fair. I will remember this as The Great Pumpkin Debacle of 2008.

    This is not an accident, either. CONSPIRACY THEORY: I bet that there’s a malevolent pumpkin rancher somewhere out there right now, chuckling as he walks through his squashkin patch and clapping his hands with glee….whilst twirling a moustache, of course.

  • Lorraine Smyth

    Ugh! I hate spaghetti squash under any circumstances but a HUGE one! That’s too much. I must say though that your carving is wonderful. Good for you!

  • http://noblepig.com noble pig

    The carvings are awesome, absolutely loved them.

  • http://www.choosy-beggars.com Tina

    Thank you Noble Pig! As somebody who loves Hallowe’en as much as I do, I hope you had a great one!!

  • http://kopiaste.or Ivy

    Those carvings are lovely. Great job!!

  • http://www.eatingindallas.wordpress.com Margie

    We’re just the opposite here. I like the holiday well enough. But, the kids in our neighborhood are literally monsters. Luckily we have a fence around our front yard that is covered with roses and a gate across the driveway!

  • http://www.choosy-beggars.com Tina

    Thank you Ivy!

    Margie, I used to live in a neighborhood where Hallowe’en was more upsetting than anything else. The streets would end up littered with smashed pumpkin carcasses, the outsides AND insides of cars (if you were foolish enough to leave them open) got egged, everybody knew better than to allow their pets to be outside because really awful things happened, and so on. It took all of the joy out of the holiday, and I still don’t understand how some people find such destruction pleasurable. We just moved to a new area and I only saw ONE (1!!!!) smashed pumpkin on the road!!!!

  • http://thespitefulchef.blogspot.com Kristie

    You are so freaking talented it makes me puke. I don’t even bother trying to carve pumpkins anymore, because I like all of my fingers attached to my hands the way they are, without surgical intervention. Now I just draw the faces on or buy the plug-in ones. Maybe I’ll try again some day. It’s been like 8 years.

    As for trick-or-treaters, yes, they’re cute. But they steal all of your candy and that makes me resentful. Sure, a three year old in a cheerleading uniform is adorable, but less so when she’s taken a WHOLE HANDFUL of my organic lollypops that I bought because I wanted them for myself but thought I could blame my personal consumption of them on poor trick-or-treater turn out.

  • http://www.choosy-beggars.com Tina

    I totally buy candy/chocolate that I like in mass quantities ‘for the kids’, knowing full well that I’ll be eating it all myself. This year, to add insult to injury, I bought all of the unhealthy chocolate (for me) and then fruit juice infused healthy option gummies (for the kids). And then they took all of the chocolate, as one would expect. That’s okay, I like fruit juice! I like gummies!!

    NO.

    They were AWFUL. Like, so awful that I couldn’t even eat them, so I tried to trick Mike into eating them and he spat them into my hand. Those three year olds are smarter than we think……