With the New Year underway, we at Choosy Beggars have tugged mournfully at our suddenly-tight clothing, made our resolutions, and started attempting to atone for all our sins of last year.

But before we set off on the lofty goals of the year ahead, it’s time to set our house in order after the nuttiness of the holidays. And how better to do that than to take advantage of being frozen into our houses for an entire month? If housekeeping is like homework, then think of January as your unforgiving stern parent, blocking your every attempt to have fun until you just give up and spitefully color maps of Canada, because that’s better than doing nothing.

But if we must suffer through forced productivity together, then let Choosy Beggars be your study guide!  Stick with us, and maybe you’ll get to watch some TV after dinner.

Week 1: January 3 – 9

• What do you mean, where’re the first two days of January? Clearly someone didn’t have a good enough New Year’s Eve.
• A plan for gradually un-decorating helps to sustain the Holiday cheer in your house, while keeping the workload manageable.  So when people crack on you for having your lights up on Valentine’s Day, you can tell them you’re not lazy, you’re organized.
• Taking some quiet time to reflect on all the exciting opportunities in  the coming year will motivate and inspire you, and grant you lots of leeway to vent about everything that sucked, too.

Week 2: January 10 – 16

• Migrate the remaining holiday leftovers from your fridge to your basement or chest freezer, averting the guilt of throwing away food without the obligation of eating another gallon of gravy.
• Holiday returns deadlines are approaching!  Invest the time in explaining long, elaborate excuses for losing your gift receipts to cashiers who, if it wasn’t for their manager over there, could not care less.
• Now that you’re clear of traditional holiday fare, you can start to get back into lighter meals featuring fresh vegetables and bright flavors.  You can do that, but who are we kidding — it’s sausage time.

Week 3: January 17 – 23

• The third week of January marks the point in the month where you notice there isn’t a long weekend or anything to look forward to.  We… we don’t have a suggestion here, actually.  Just thinking about it is really bumming us out.
• Chase away the deep winter blues with events and celebrations that bring everyone together: penny poker nights, arts & crafts or even a simple board game tournament are all ideal activities… unless you live alone, in which case it’s time to have another birthday party for your cats; cake for them, champagne for you.
• Mid-January marks the traditional mid-point of the influenza season in North America.  Regardless of your opinion on vaccines, remember that dietary cures are abundant, and never forget to take your medicine.

Week 4: January 24 – 30

• Severe weather can cause ice build-ups on your roof and overhanging areas.  Protect your family by assuring them that icicles only fall on the heads of badly-behaved children who don’t keep the TV volume down when their father is trying to sleep in, for once.
• Keeping your bird feeders full is always appreciated during this most frigid time of year.  Selecting the right types of seed for songbirds and finches, jays and grackles will feel gratifying for the five to ten minutes it will take the neighborhood squirrels to come and devour it all.
• What?  The pro football season isn’t over yet? Then you still have a couple more weekends where it’s entirely define dinner as lazing on the couch and eating pile after pile after pile of appetizers.

Similar Posts:

• Choosy Beggars Monthly Calendar – December
• Choosy Beggars Monthly Calendar – November
• Choosy Beggars Monthly Calendar – October
• Choosy Beggars Monthly Calendar – September
• Choosy Beggars Monthly Calendar – February

This post is tagged allegedly funny, calendar, Chat Post