This Broadcast is Interrupted by Wedding Hell
Here at the Choosy Beggars, things are starting to get a bit sticky, and for once it’s not because I left a bag of strawberries on the counter for three weeks. That said, it’s time for us to take a brief hiatus. If you’re a regular reader of the site, you have likely noticed that our posts are petering out, slowly but surely, and I can assure you that there is a single foremost reason for that: The Goddamned Wedding. The Goddamned Soul Sucking Fiasco of a Wedding, if one were to be precise.
The Goddamned Wedding is taking up an awful lot of time right now, as I try to figure out very important details, such as;
- Does each centerpiece have enough feathers? Do they have too many feathers? How many is just enough when it comes to feathers?
- If I were to walk out of this sketchy little warehouse and into the daylight, would these napkins still be aubergine or would they be Barney’s Party Purple?
- Here is a rack with 74 bonbonnieres on it, all of which were surely manufactured by children in a third world country. Ooh, that one has a bell on it!
- Is there anybody out there who will marry us that doesn’t stink of patchouli or start talking about Kerouac?
- If I invite my second cousin and her husband, and my father’s nephew’s brother and his children, does that mean that I need to invite my third cousin once removed who was invited to the wedding of my uncle’s brother in law because of family ties, or can I just say…..screw it?
Because misery loves company, I am dragging Mike with me into this journey of hell wrapped in tulle, and until the details get ironed out, every day in the foreseeable future we have an appointment with Another Goddamned Vendor to try to make sense of The Goddamned Wedding.
So, goddammit, we’re taking a little break.
We look forward to seeing you again sooner rather than later. Especially Mike, because you might not know this, but apparently he has an awful lot to say about hotdogs, and you owe it to yourself to hear it.
We’ll see you next week,
Tina & Mike